Walking

My problem with suburbia is the only privacy that is to be had is behind the four walls of these grandoise, impersonal houses whose character, supposedly individualized by floor plans and wall placement, is really imperceptible. I took a walk today, through the soccer fields towards the levee which I thought was a movement towards and hopefully into some semblance of nature. Instead the view was completely clouded by these compartmental box bouses on the horizon, all of which could not be even wholly considered because of a leaf blower disturbing any quiet which might have been had. I felt like a fraud. Or part of the collective fraudulence. Has it always been that way? People everywhere? I feel like maybe when we moved here the houses along the other edge of the bay weren't around yet, Redwood Shores hadn't been built yet. Maybe at some point people came here because it felt close to nature. Maybe.

Angering me even more was the barely perceptible noise and sensation of the squeaking of my rubber flip-flops which I felt more than even its annoyance accused me of being an intricate piece of the problem.