Art, Zen, Summer
I wrote nothing in July. Nothing, the entire month, or nothing substantial enough or fresh enough to merit a new document. Unbelievable! Where has my head been!
I'm thinking now about attempting to publish a book of poetry instead of a sort of silly, contrived book of nonfiction. I've had trouble getting back to writing that matters because I've been really afraid that it doesn't, that verbal expression just can't convey truth. But lately I've been thinking that perhaps, like other art forms, when it is used as a tool, not to abstract but to better convey a reality, differently than language is ordinarily used, maybe the interest or the art is in that specific disconnect, that is what makes it worthwhile. Anyone?
Anyway, I've had this thought about moving back to poetry because I don't think a how-to book on road trips focused on college students really does anyone any good. For one, it simply continues to benefit those whose means already allow them great privilege. Two, it in reality continues to pollute the publishing marketplace with yet another sort of useless book only produced for profit. It bothers me that in reading Michael Larsen's How to Write a Book Proposal, everything seems very focused on making an agent or publisher believe whatever it is you're interested in producing is going to yield a large profit. I suppose this is just the reality of the situation today, but it doesn't really seem to be doing anyone anywhere any real good, authentic good.
Ava and I went to the Zen Center this morning for their beginning meditation instruction. It was cold. As optimistic as I'd been about practicing, I'm not positive it's for me. I thought the whole point was the cessation of hte importance of ego, but I felt as if some of the tradition was steeped in it. In the past, as all tradition is. Rememberance. Maybe I'm being too sensitive; I felt it was a somewhat fast, impersonal and jarring introduction on the whole, crowded. Actually, come to think of it, that may be a symptom of trying to attend a workshop based in one of the countries most famous Zen centers, yea? Maybe that was more it.
Anyhow, I've got to attempt to figure out what it is I'm going to do next summer, whether it be staying in the states to write a book of some sort of leaving to do a service project somewhere. Perhaps both? Which sounds nice but, you know, totally unlikely.
I'm thinking now about attempting to publish a book of poetry instead of a sort of silly, contrived book of nonfiction. I've had trouble getting back to writing that matters because I've been really afraid that it doesn't, that verbal expression just can't convey truth. But lately I've been thinking that perhaps, like other art forms, when it is used as a tool, not to abstract but to better convey a reality, differently than language is ordinarily used, maybe the interest or the art is in that specific disconnect, that is what makes it worthwhile. Anyone?
Anyway, I've had this thought about moving back to poetry because I don't think a how-to book on road trips focused on college students really does anyone any good. For one, it simply continues to benefit those whose means already allow them great privilege. Two, it in reality continues to pollute the publishing marketplace with yet another sort of useless book only produced for profit. It bothers me that in reading Michael Larsen's How to Write a Book Proposal, everything seems very focused on making an agent or publisher believe whatever it is you're interested in producing is going to yield a large profit. I suppose this is just the reality of the situation today, but it doesn't really seem to be doing anyone anywhere any real good, authentic good.
Ava and I went to the Zen Center this morning for their beginning meditation instruction. It was cold. As optimistic as I'd been about practicing, I'm not positive it's for me. I thought the whole point was the cessation of hte importance of ego, but I felt as if some of the tradition was steeped in it. In the past, as all tradition is. Rememberance. Maybe I'm being too sensitive; I felt it was a somewhat fast, impersonal and jarring introduction on the whole, crowded. Actually, come to think of it, that may be a symptom of trying to attend a workshop based in one of the countries most famous Zen centers, yea? Maybe that was more it.
Anyhow, I've got to attempt to figure out what it is I'm going to do next summer, whether it be staying in the states to write a book of some sort of leaving to do a service project somewhere. Perhaps both? Which sounds nice but, you know, totally unlikely.
posted by Ashley at 9:46 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home